Archive for the ‘Soul Mates’ Category
If you know you are not with your perfect partner, you are probably not with your soul mate. Most people are searching for that special someone with intense desire. They are out there, but, why haven’t you met yours yet? Chances are, you are not in the right place emotionally.
Being in the right place is not a location somewhere in a specific location on the planet. Being in the right place means being balanced, with a well-rounded outlook on life, particularly in relationships. Most importantly, you need to be free and clear of any past relationships that caused you pain.
Dragging your emotional baggage into a future relationship is a recipe for disaster even before it begins. The healing must be completed until your old hurts are only a scar but not an open wound. A new relationship is not a band aid for a broken heart, but, merely diverts and masks the pain that we don’t want to feel until it doesn’t hurt any more.
Many people do not recognize how long it takes to become whole again after a breakup. The longer you have been in the relationship, the longer it takes to feel whole again. The average time it takes to get back in the stride of regular life is roughly two years. While this may seem like a long time to most people, it is a fact. No one gets over a relationship in a month or two if they were truly vested in it.
Once people are through the agony and defeat of a failed relationship, that is when it is time to start looking again. Those who have taken the time to put the last relationship away, generally have the most success in starting over with a positive future ahead. It is then and only then that you open up the opportunity for a suitable relationship with long-term possibilities.
What happens to people when they look for another partner to fill up the loneliness and void of the last love relationship, is that they meet themselves in a mirrored relationship. They meet another person with the same issues going on; lonely and desperate to avoid the hurt of unresolved issues with the last relationship.
Most people don’t want to take the time that is involved with the healing process which is a big mistake. It is so important to feel over the other person, so that you do not bring history forward into the new relationship. Relationships can be hard enough as it is without letting our past run our future and will definitely prevent you from finding your true soul mate.
If you truly want to find your soul mate, give your self enough time until you actually feel like you are ready to accommodate another person into your life. Make sure the new person that interests you has also had time to prepare for another relationship. When both of you are in the same place in life, good or bad, your relationship will reflect your inner circumstances. Clean out your closets of old emotional ghosts and then you will be on the road to finding your real soul mate and true love.
The true recognition of someone as your soul partner is a knowing at an almost cellular level that this person completes you. This acknowledgement transcends your own definition of “self” as you realize that your partner is an intrinsic part of your essence and, likewise, you are an intrinsic part of theirs. This mutual and transcendental recognition often happens simultaneously and, in that instant, the both of you realize that you have been “reunited” as a unique and loving single entity from time out of mind.
There is a simple way to know if what you are feeling is an indication that you have encountered your soul mate. True love relationships are difficult to find, but, when they come together, nothing could pull them apart.
Pick a time when you are relaxed and calm and stand before a mirror. Close your eyes and envision your lover standing next to you. When the image in your mind is clear, open your eyes to the reflection in front of you. If you feel or (in rare cases) see the presence of your lover next to your reflection, you are being shown that they share a part of your spiritual essence.
This ritual can also be used if you aren’t currently in a relationship. Again, using the mirror, close your eyes and clear your mind of any images. When you are internally still and unfocused formulate your request: “Show me an image of my soul mate.” At this point open your eyes and look in the mirror to see what is reflected there.
While it may actually be a face or an image of a person, you might also see a something of a more symbolic nature i.e. an animal, object etc. In that case what you are being shown is a spiritual representation of a quality that your soul mate possesses. Don’t be concerned about understanding the precise meaning at this time; by placing your question into the realm of spirit you can be assured that when you meet that special person the symbol will be recalled and its meaning unmistakable.
If your lover shares your interest in spirituality, ask them to perform the same ritual when you aren’t present. Try to keep the request as vague as possible so that what they experience will not be influenced by what you have discovered. If, as expected, they have a similar result, then the two of you can confirm that you have been shown, in dramatic fashion, that the loving and emotional connection you share transcends mere attraction and promises something deeper and more intense as you draw nearer to your perfect soul mate.
To discover the spiritual and psychical “other half” of oneself can be one of the most profound experiences that two people can share. Is there a magic formula to call one’s soul mate to their side? Unfortunately, not, yet knowing that there is that person who completes you as you will complete them is more than enough reason to open psyche, mind, and heart to call to the universe for that which makes the two of you whole.
She could not help herself. She just knew he was the one meant for her. Every time she was around him, she was very nervous and had the twitters. Just to think of him made her tingle inside. She thought she had fallen in love with her doctor.
All her life she had pursued men only to be dropped after a few dates. She could not understand why they constantly ran away from her. She thought she was an attractive woman. She was pleasingly plump with ample breasts. Her blue eyes were accented by the curly red crown atop her head. Her lips were accented by clusters of concentrated melanin.
She was not beautiful. She had been called cute even as a teenager. The one wish she had all her life was to find a man who would be her soul mate. She just knew the doctor was the one for her. She knew that they meant to be together forever.
Although she had never been out with him, she took his smile and good morning greetings to be a sure show of affection. She had only worked at the hospital as a nurse’s aide for three weeks. She had always been desperate to find her true love; not knowing she was actually pushing any possible mate away from her. Once she met a man, she would constantly call or text him many times during the day to ask what he was doing. Those numerous calls grew to following them to see if they met another woman.
She spent many evenings in her small apartment crying while wondering how she would ever find her soul mate. Little did she know that she was, in a word, stalking and irritating all her potential love relationships. Her searches for the perfect mate always failed.
She found herself in a very deep valley of depression with no way out. She contacted the hospital psychiatrist and made an appointment. Since they both worked at the hospital, the appointment would not cost her any money. They decided to meet over lunch in the hospital cafeteria.
Over lunch, she explained to the psychiatrist how she called potential lovers several times during the day and night. She then told him how she would follow them many times. But after a date or two, they would tell her they really were not interested.
She was told to stop stalking and calling so much. She took this advice seriously and soon after, found her true soul mate.
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“When will I find my soul mate?” This is probably the number one question that psychic advisers are asked by their clients. In over four decades as a metaphysical counselor, this question, or variations thereof, has been posed to me countless times. What I’ve discovered is surprising but not unexpected: Most people do not understand what a true “soul mate” is or how to know when that most intense encounter between hearts, bodies, minds and, yes souls, is actually occurring. The following is my perspective on what makes a soul mate and, more importantly, how to recognize when you have found yours.
The idea of a soul mate seems to be a key element in most ancient creation myths that spoke of a polarity, men and women, from a state of oneness. Plato, in his work, Symposium, described primeval humans as having four arms, four legs and two faces and three sexes; men, women, and the man-woman union whose essence was the Moon. Zeus and the other Greek gods feared these humans but, rather than destroy the race of humankind, Zeus cut them in half and sent them into the world. But, though separated, the ancient needing to reunite as one, has remained.
Plato summarized that need succinctly:
“And such a nature is prone to love and ready to return love, always embracing that which is akin to him. And when one of them meets with his other half, the actual half of himself, whether he be a lover of youth or a lover of another sort, the pair are lost in an amazement of love and friendship and intimacy, and one will not be out of the other’s sight, as I may say, even for a moment: these are the people who pass their whole lives together…. And the reason is that human nature was originally one and we were a whole, and the desire and pursuit of the whole is called love”.
Though the concept of soul mates is deeply ingrained in our spirits, the first identified use of the term, according to Merriam-Webster.com, was in 1822 in a letter written by the poet, Samuel Taylor Coleridge: “You must have a soul mate as well as a House or yoke-mate.”
Since the mid 1950s, with a raised interest in spiritual and psychical matters, the idea of locating one’s soul mate has become a major aspect of modern day romance. A major shift has occurred openly to find our one true relationship; the person who is meant to be with us.
So how does one know when they’ve encountered their soul mate? To begin with, it is important to remember that attraction and infatuation do not necessarily mean that you have found your soul mate. In fact, being caught up with the purely physical aspect of a relationship can obscure the true nature of the potential for the future that a couple may or may not have. Hard as it sounds, it is important to keep passion and pleasure in perspective. While a part of a true soul connection, the raw physicality of sensual pleasure is not the ultimate measure of soul mates.
Lou’s newest book on soul mates, love and relationships can be found at Amazon.
Yes, spring is here and with it love is in the air. All the winter energies have gone into hybernation and opened the way for renewal, growth and most of all, love. This can be one of the most highly, emotionally charged times of our lives. However, it may or may not lead to true love.
This type of energy gives us the added boost we often associate with spring fever after a long, hard and dark winter period. Flowers bloom, trees bud and so does the chemistry that puts us in the mood to find a soul mate and hopefully a long term love relationship. It is also a time to be on guard that you don’t move too fast at this time of year.
Spring fever is nature’s way of stimulating the season of getting together in couples which is what makes spring breaks so popular these days. Spring flings are happening everywhere and right along with it, lots of broken hearts. While it is a meet and greet kind of time, things can happen rather quickly especially around April Fool’s Day when the energy is strong.
Infatuation is triggered like lightening bolts which cannot be stopped. The spring fling may not end up in long term romance, however, it is electrifying when it happens. Enjoying the moments you have when you feel the connection to another person can make us feel so high we may even lose our appetite – until it fades – and fade it may.
It is important to realize that while this type of infatuation energy may not last, it is definitely worth the effort if not taken too seriously. That emotional charge we get when hit by spring fever is exhilarating but care needs to be taken that is not be mistaken for love. While a spring fling can turn into love, it must be declared what it is. Time is what will determine if the relationship goes beyond these first few weeks.
Lots of women tend to think this is love and mistakenly so. While it can turn into love, infatuation is not love itself. While the chemistry is strong and you feel like you have met your soul mate, have fun, but try not to get so deeply emotionally involved in this type of relationship that if it ends you fall apart and go off the deep end.
Spring is time to have fun, and put yourself out there. Just take it slow with new love relationships and let nature tell you whether or not it is to bloom into a full blown romantic relationship. Time is your friend here.
The egg has become the penultimate symbol of spring, spring fever, fertility and the promise of new life. Long known as one of the symbols of Ostara (the other being a white rabbit), the humble egg can also provide a playful yet potent symbol for you and your lover.
Here is a fun and simple ritual that can take your relationship to the next level:
Take two eggs and decorate them with your name and the name of your lover. Place them in a basket (or other small container) and place them by your bed on the eve of the Vernal Equinox.
This is a special time to connect with your soul mate, or re-new your love relationship. By honoring the Equinox, you are reconnecting with the ancient and powerful cycle of birth, death and rebirth and the reminder that, above all else, love can and will conquer all.
Take two eggs and decorate them with your name and the name of your lover. Place them in a basket (or other small container) and place them by your bed on the eve of the Vernal Equinox. Before you sleep that night, light a candle and release the coldness of the winter to the cosmos from your mind and heart while focusing on the eggs.
Another great time to utilize the symbol of Ostara is to wait until the first new Moon after the Vernal Equinox .The new moon has traditionally been the time of new beginnings and the start of new relationships, especially infatuation.
The first new moon following the beginning of spring is the very epitome of the time of planting new seeds, bringing forth change and to summon the power and emotions of Luna, the Moon, in heightening the passions that are waiting to unfold much like spring fever. Combing the pull of the new moon and the magic of Ostara you and your special person are truly embracing the potency of the season and the future that awaits.
In doing this, you are opening a spiritual door to the promise that the change of seasons holds for the two of you. This is a time of fresh beginnings, of new or renewed passions, and the planting of those special seeds of love that are so vital to both of you. The season supports love and relationships with a special energy.
This is a special time to connect with your soul mate, or re-new your love relationship. By honoring the Equinox, you are reconnecting with the ancient and powerful cycle of birth, death and rebirth and the reminder that, above all else, love can and will conquer all.
With the potent mixture of magic and romance, St. Patrick’s Day can be a great time to take your love relationship to a new level. One of the most traditional and probably most effective ways to help bring your soul mate closer is to use the ancient Celtic Knot. To the Irish, the double knot, known as triskeles, or three cornered knot.
By writing the name of your love and yourself on the two intertwined knots and placing them within a circle, you are creating the serch bythol. Each corner of the knot symbolizes body, mind and spirit. When the two knots are joined together within a circle, they become a symbol of eternal love.
To bring your soul mate closer, the old practice of the sailor’s knot is a powerful token. The night before St. Patrick’s Day, take two pieces of cord or rope (whatever calls to you. Lighting a candle, envision your love interest as belonging to the piece in your left hand; the one in your right hand is your symbol. Tie them together envisioning the love relationship between the two of you.
When you meet your love interest on St. Patrick’s Day, give the knotted rope to him. Celtic sailors would give this ‘love knot” to their special person when they returned from the sea as a promise of being eternally bound together and always returning home no matter how great the distance.
If you are already in a committed relationship, consider getting your lover a claddagh ring to celebrate this Irish festival. The Claddagh contains two hands holding onto a heart with a crown. This image combines the powers of friendship (the hands), love (the heart) and loyalty (the crown). Giving the claddagh symbolizes the loyalty of the commitment between the two of you bound in both friendship and love.
So even as the green is worn, and green beer flows, know that the true magic of St. Patrick’s Day is the ability to bring both love and the luck of the Irish to one and all when searching for your soul mate.
When two people first meet and have that wonderful connection, the attraction is usually very strong. Suddenly, you feel high on love and life seems sublime. Two potential lovers check out and focus intently on each other for the first few weeks.
During those first few days or weeks, people often loose their appetite, sleep patterns can be disrupted and normal thought patterns change. It is not uncommon to forget about other plans with friends and family. This is a time when body chemistry is altered and all emotional energy is spent on the new person in our lives.
While the first few days, weeks and even months, life can feel like you have met your perfect soul mate. The feelings are mutual and you think you have fallen in love. This stage of a relationship is known as infatuation.
Many professional psychologists believe that infatuation has three stages:
1. This first stage, the most intense and also the most common, has been referred to as blind desire, without regard to rationality or insight.
2. The second stage, while it may or may not rationally be based on sound judgment, the blind desire may continue. This may lead to a more mature love when infatuation diminishes, as it always does.
3. This third stage can plainly be described as bad judgment, ignoring the reality of the situation. This stage, however, if sound, can lead to a lasting, mature, perfect love relationship.
Infatuation, if sound, can transcend into mature love between two people, connecting you to a true soul mate. If infatuation wanes during the first few days, weeks or months, then love itself never develops. This is the initial bond that ties us together if the relationship becomes more permanent, but if not taken for what it really is, an illusion, then it can die as fast as it began.
The rational mind goes out the window during the infatuation process and people are strictly run by sexual energy and emotion. Sexual energy between two people can be very hard to deny and emotional energy is just that: emotions which are not rational and run the show during this time period.
Infatuation is often confused as love in the beginning of the relationship. An intense desire for each other is not necessarily lasting in nature. When it does continue and as people get to know each other, then a mutual love and respect develops, leading to a long term loving relationship. That is why this get-to-know-you stage should be carefully acknowledged because he/she may or may not be ‘the one’.
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Most of us have looked for true love at one time or another. Some find it, some never do. Most of us are destined to meet someone eventually that brings us contentment and true love. If you have been searching and not finding your perfect man, here are some tips to help you hook up.
1. Cut down on that long drive to/from work. You might have to move, but, this will free up some time for finding the perfect love relationship which will establish your future.
2. Join a gym, or workout at home; women who are in shape attract men. It tells them you care about how you present yourself. There are lots of single guys at the gym.
3. Get involved in any activity that you are passionate about. This increases your chances of finding your ideal mate; you’ll have something in common.
4. Take a vacation with your girl friends; you know that men will be hanging out; they are looking too, so, book that singles cruise or group hike.
5. Take goal oriented vacations or short, weekend trips; like a jazz theme, guest ranch, or combine it with a workshop.
6. Volunteer at a local charity organization. You will find like-minded prospects.
Write down your goals and stick to them. Plan at least once per week doing some activity that supports your goal in love and relationships. Getting together with girlfriends regularly to attend a function that stimulates your interest will put you in a relationship-rich environment. If you like what you are doing, chances are, your future soul mate does, too.
Just dreaming about your future love relationship will not make it happen. Sitting home with no plans is a sure fire way to make sure your dream remains just a dream. The Fed-Ex or mail man doesn’t know that you are looking. Putting yourself out there, puts you in touch with people.
Hope is not going to get you anywhere, but, taking an action will. This will put you in a position of meeting more people. Take your neighbor or co-worker up on any invitation to that summer BBQ. Everyone loves a chance to enjoy some great food and social good times.
Organize a block party or a beach picnic and tell your friends to bring someone you don’t know. Let your friends know you are looking. It is amazing what they can do for you. You never know when their cousin or brother’s friend may come to town for a visit.
If you have a dog, get out there walk it and often. Dogs are great ice-breakers for initial conversations. Taking classes where you and your dog participate is a great way to meet a future partner. If you are the shy type, let your dog do the barking!
Just putting a little effort out there, along with networking among friends, neighbors and co-workers, will keep it fresh in their minds that you are seriously looking. This greatly enhances your chances of meeting your soul mate.
He’s out there! Set your sites on a future soul mate and before you know it, you will end up with the love of your life! Believe in your dreams; they really can come true!
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Jealousy facing the green-eyed monster
One of the biggest issues surrounding love and relationships today is whether gender roles have changed concerning who initiates matters – men or women? As a metaphysical counselor, many of my female clients worry that they will be viewed as “chasing” the person of their hopes and dreams. This perception in the past carried negative connotations of desperation and despair.
A woman chasing a man implies that she is aggressively trying to attract and influence the heart and passions of the person she is drawn to regardless of his feelings or interest in her. What is actually happening, in most cases, is that the woman’s heart is drawn to a particular person and the feelings that accompany that attraction make her feel that she is “chasing” when, in fact, what she is doing is “longing” for a romantic outcome.
There is a significant difference, however, between “chasing” and allowing oneself to be receptive to emotional connections between two hearts and spirits. This openness can best be described by the term “love seeking”. What follows is a brief explanation of how love-seeking works and how it can help you to find the romantic link you desire.
Human emotions are a powerful source of energy. Countless examples of the power of love and the human heart have been recorded throughout time. What is often left unsaid, however, is that this energy is transmitted both on the conscious and the sub-conscious or spiritual levels. Being aware that your inner emotions may be not be in sync with your conscious feelings can go a long way to forming the spiritual intent to draw the one you desire closer to you.
The first step in aligning your inner and outer feelings to prepare yourself for “love-seeking” your perfect relationship is to make a list. As simple as this may seem, the mere act of focusing your consciousness on how you feel about your self and about love in general is an important step to psychically acknowledging your needs and wants. The best way is to sit down and ask yourself the simple question: What do I need emotionally and how do I feel about love?
The list may be long, it may be short. When your stream of thoughts stops, the list is complete. Fold it up and set it aside. Wait at least one day and then take the list and, put it under your pillow that night. In the morning, after you are fully awake, ask the question again and make another list without looking at the first one.
Compare the two lists. If they are basically the same, your intent is aligned and ready to move forward. If there are differences, examine what these are and try to reconcile them. In this step the assistance of a skilled psychic counselor may be needed. When emotional and spiritual intent are aligned, the energy they contain can be harnessed and directed.
The final stage is both the easiest and the most challenging. Pick a quiet time at night. No particular location or setting is needed as long as you feel focused. With eyes closed, concentrate on your breath and heartbeat. Allowing this rhythm of life and love to carry your spirit along, envision your emotions flowing forward in the direction of the soul mate you wish to attract. If you have no particular person in mind, embrace this phrase: Seek my perfect love relationship as the emotional stream flows outward in its quest.
With practice, the art of love-seeking can be a powerful tool to finding the soul mate you desire. Above all, reconnecting the inner and outer emotional bands strengthens the heart, emboldens the soul, and makes the path of destiny easier to tread when seeking your new love relationship.