Archive for the ‘Love and Relationships’ Category
One of the biggest issues surrounding love and relationships today is whether gender roles have changed concerning who initiates matters – men or women? As a metaphysical counselor, many of my female clients worry that they will be viewed as “chasing” the person of their hopes and dreams. This perception in the past carried negative connotations of desperation and despair.
A woman chasing a man implies that she is aggressively trying to attract and influence the heart and passions of the person she is drawn to regardless of his feelings or interest in her. What is actually happening, in most cases, is that the woman’s heart is drawn to a particular person and the feelings that accompany that attraction make her feel that she is “chasing” when, in fact, what she is doing is “longing” for a romantic outcome.
There is a significant difference, however, between “chasing” and allowing oneself to be receptive to emotional connections between two hearts and spirits. This openness can best be described by the term “love seeking”. What follows is a brief explanation of how love-seeking works and how it can help you to find the romantic link you desire.
Human emotions are a powerful source of energy. Countless examples of the power of love and the human heart have been recorded throughout time. What is often left unsaid, however, is that this energy is transmitted both on the conscious and the sub-conscious or spiritual levels. Being aware that your inner emotions may be not be in sync with your conscious feelings can go a long way to forming the spiritual intent to draw the one you desire closer to you.
The first step in aligning your inner and outer feelings to prepare yourself for “love-seeking” your perfect relationship is to make a list. As simple as this may seem, the mere act of focusing your consciousness on how you feel about your self and about love in general is an important step to psychically acknowledging your needs and wants. The best way is to sit down and ask yourself the simple question: What do I need emotionally and how do I feel about love?
The list may be long, it may be short. When your stream of thoughts stops, the list is complete. Fold it up and set it aside. Wait at least one day and then take the list and, put it under your pillow that night. In the morning, after you are fully awake, ask the question again and make another list without looking at the first one.
Compare the two lists. If they are basically the same, your intent is aligned and ready to move forward. If there are differences, examine what these are and try to reconcile them. In this step the assistance of a skilled psychic counselor may be needed. When emotional and spiritual intent are aligned, the energy they contain can be harnessed and directed.
The final stage is both the easiest and the most challenging. Pick a quiet time at night. No particular location or setting is needed as long as you feel focused. With eyes closed, concentrate on your breath and heartbeat. Allowing this rhythm of life and love to carry your spirit along, envision your emotions flowing forward in the direction of the soul mate you wish to attract. If you have no particular person in mind, embrace this phrase: Seek my perfect love relationship as the emotional stream flows outward in its quest.
With practice, the art of love-seeking can be a powerful tool to finding the soul mate you desire. Above all, reconnecting the inner and outer emotional bands strengthens the heart, emboldens the soul, and makes the path of destiny easier to tread when seeking your new love relationship.
Men are really not as complicated as women think they are. They are straight forward and can only concentrate on one thing at a time. When they are focused on something, that is what they are actually doing. They are not usually also thinking about something else. They are not necessarily thinking about you whether they are in love or upset.
Women are much different than men. It is just the way they are constructed psychologically and emotionally. Whether they are in love or upset, they cannot stop thinking about the situation. Their imagination runs wild filling in the blanks about what could have happened in the case of a breakup.
Men are not multitasking thinkers. If they are at work, that is what they focus on. That doesn’t mean that you don’t cross their minds throughout the day, but, rather their priority during the day is work.
Women, on the other hand, if they are upset find it very difficult to get the situation off their minds, especially in the case of a bad breakup. It is hard for them to concentrate on work because they are literally being run by their emotions. Sick days are often used because they cannot make themselves go to work.
Men and women are hardwired very differently. That is one of the reasons why men say they do not understand women, and why women have a hard time in love relationships. Their world centers around their partner, while men center themselves more around work.
Women find this hard to fathom. They sometimes rationalize this by saying, ‘If you loved me…” and you can fill in the blanks. Emotions govern their very being and run the show. Men, however, tend to put the emotions aside to focus on earning a living.
While this is not a cut and dried explanation of their differences, it generally falls into these lines of thinking and feeling about love and relationships. Some women and men have a better understanding of what makes the opposite sex function, but, more often than not, they really don’t grasp the differences between the sexes.
So, if your man ‘checks’ out, doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. He’s just focused on other things. This is how they resolve the issues in their lives. Women want to know why, and how could they check out like this. They can easily feel unloved or ignored. If both sexes were more aware of how the other functions, their relationships would have a much smoother ride.
If you know you are not with your perfect partner, you are probably not with your soul mate. Most people are searching for that special someone with intense desire. They are out there, but, why haven’t you met yours yet? Chances are, you are not in the right place emotionally.
Being in the right place is not a location somewhere in a specific location on the planet. Being in the right place means being balanced, with a well-rounded outlook on life, particularly in relationships. Most importantly, you need to be free and clear of any past relationships that caused you pain.
Dragging your emotional baggage into a future relationship is a recipe for disaster even before it begins. The healing must be completed until your old hurts are only a scar but not an open wound. A new relationship is not a band aid for a broken heart, but, merely diverts and masks the pain that we don’t want to feel until it doesn’t hurt any more.
Many people do not recognize how long it takes to become whole again after a breakup. The longer you have been in the relationship, the longer it takes to feel whole again. The average time it takes to get back in the stride of regular life is roughly two years. While this may seem like a long time to most people, it is a fact. No one gets over a relationship in a month or two if they were truly vested in it.
Once people are through the agony and defeat of a failed relationship, that is when it is time to start looking again. Those who have taken the time to put the last relationship away, generally have the most success in starting over with a positive future ahead. It is then and only then that you open up the opportunity for a suitable relationship with long-term possibilities.
What happens to people when they look for another partner to fill up the loneliness and void of the last love relationship, is that they meet themselves in a mirrored relationship. They meet another person with the same issues going on; lonely and desperate to avoid the hurt of unresolved issues with the last relationship.
Most people don’t want to take the time that is involved with the healing process which is a big mistake. It is so important to feel over the other person, so that you do not bring history forward into the new relationship. Relationships can be hard enough as it is without letting our past run our future and will definitely prevent you from finding your true soul mate.
If you truly want to find your soul mate, give your self enough time until you actually feel like you are ready to accommodate another person into your life. Make sure the new person that interests you has also had time to prepare for another relationship. When both of you are in the same place in life, good or bad, your relationship will reflect your inner circumstances. Clean out your closets of old emotional ghosts and then you will be on the road to finding your real soul mate and true love.
The true recognition of someone as your soul partner is a knowing at an almost cellular level that this person completes you. This acknowledgement transcends your own definition of “self” as you realize that your partner is an intrinsic part of your essence and, likewise, you are an intrinsic part of theirs. This mutual and transcendental recognition often happens simultaneously and, in that instant, the both of you realize that you have been “reunited” as a unique and loving single entity from time out of mind.
There is a simple way to know if what you are feeling is an indication that you have encountered your soul mate. True love relationships are difficult to find, but, when they come together, nothing could pull them apart.
Pick a time when you are relaxed and calm and stand before a mirror. Close your eyes and envision your lover standing next to you. When the image in your mind is clear, open your eyes to the reflection in front of you. If you feel or (in rare cases) see the presence of your lover next to your reflection, you are being shown that they share a part of your spiritual essence.
This ritual can also be used if you aren’t currently in a relationship. Again, using the mirror, close your eyes and clear your mind of any images. When you are internally still and unfocused formulate your request: “Show me an image of my soul mate.” At this point open your eyes and look in the mirror to see what is reflected there.
While it may actually be a face or an image of a person, you might also see a something of a more symbolic nature i.e. an animal, object etc. In that case what you are being shown is a spiritual representation of a quality that your soul mate possesses. Don’t be concerned about understanding the precise meaning at this time; by placing your question into the realm of spirit you can be assured that when you meet that special person the symbol will be recalled and its meaning unmistakable.
If your lover shares your interest in spirituality, ask them to perform the same ritual when you aren’t present. Try to keep the request as vague as possible so that what they experience will not be influenced by what you have discovered. If, as expected, they have a similar result, then the two of you can confirm that you have been shown, in dramatic fashion, that the loving and emotional connection you share transcends mere attraction and promises something deeper and more intense as you draw nearer to your perfect soul mate.
To discover the spiritual and psychical “other half” of oneself can be one of the most profound experiences that two people can share. Is there a magic formula to call one’s soul mate to their side? Unfortunately, not, yet knowing that there is that person who completes you as you will complete them is more than enough reason to open psyche, mind, and heart to call to the universe for that which makes the two of you whole.
She could not help herself. She just knew he was the one meant for her. Every time she was around him, she was very nervous and had the twitters. Just to think of him made her tingle inside. She thought she had fallen in love with her doctor.
All her life she had pursued men only to be dropped after a few dates. She could not understand why they constantly ran away from her. She thought she was an attractive woman. She was pleasingly plump with ample breasts. Her blue eyes were accented by the curly red crown atop her head. Her lips were accented by clusters of concentrated melanin.
She was not beautiful. She had been called cute even as a teenager. The one wish she had all her life was to find a man who would be her soul mate. She just knew the doctor was the one for her. She knew that they meant to be together forever.
Although she had never been out with him, she took his smile and good morning greetings to be a sure show of affection. She had only worked at the hospital as a nurse’s aide for three weeks. She had always been desperate to find her true love; not knowing she was actually pushing any possible mate away from her. Once she met a man, she would constantly call or text him many times during the day to ask what he was doing. Those numerous calls grew to following them to see if they met another woman.
She spent many evenings in her small apartment crying while wondering how she would ever find her soul mate. Little did she know that she was, in a word, stalking and irritating all her potential love relationships. Her searches for the perfect mate always failed.
She found herself in a very deep valley of depression with no way out. She contacted the hospital psychiatrist and made an appointment. Since they both worked at the hospital, the appointment would not cost her any money. They decided to meet over lunch in the hospital cafeteria.
Over lunch, she explained to the psychiatrist how she called potential lovers several times during the day and night. She then told him how she would follow them many times. But after a date or two, they would tell her they really were not interested.
She was told to stop stalking and calling so much. She took this advice seriously and soon after, found her true soul mate.
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“When will I find my soul mate?” This is probably the number one question that psychic advisers are asked by their clients. In over four decades as a metaphysical counselor, this question, or variations thereof, has been posed to me countless times. What I’ve discovered is surprising but not unexpected: Most people do not understand what a true “soul mate” is or how to know when that most intense encounter between hearts, bodies, minds and, yes souls, is actually occurring. The following is my perspective on what makes a soul mate and, more importantly, how to recognize when you have found yours.
The idea of a soul mate seems to be a key element in most ancient creation myths that spoke of a polarity, men and women, from a state of oneness. Plato, in his work, Symposium, described primeval humans as having four arms, four legs and two faces and three sexes; men, women, and the man-woman union whose essence was the Moon. Zeus and the other Greek gods feared these humans but, rather than destroy the race of humankind, Zeus cut them in half and sent them into the world. But, though separated, the ancient needing to reunite as one, has remained.
Plato summarized that need succinctly:
“And such a nature is prone to love and ready to return love, always embracing that which is akin to him. And when one of them meets with his other half, the actual half of himself, whether he be a lover of youth or a lover of another sort, the pair are lost in an amazement of love and friendship and intimacy, and one will not be out of the other’s sight, as I may say, even for a moment: these are the people who pass their whole lives together…. And the reason is that human nature was originally one and we were a whole, and the desire and pursuit of the whole is called love”.
Though the concept of soul mates is deeply ingrained in our spirits, the first identified use of the term, according to Merriam-Webster.com, was in 1822 in a letter written by the poet, Samuel Taylor Coleridge: “You must have a soul mate as well as a House or yoke-mate.”
Since the mid 1950s, with a raised interest in spiritual and psychical matters, the idea of locating one’s soul mate has become a major aspect of modern day romance. A major shift has occurred openly to find our one true relationship; the person who is meant to be with us.
So how does one know when they’ve encountered their soul mate? To begin with, it is important to remember that attraction and infatuation do not necessarily mean that you have found your soul mate. In fact, being caught up with the purely physical aspect of a relationship can obscure the true nature of the potential for the future that a couple may or may not have. Hard as it sounds, it is important to keep passion and pleasure in perspective. While a part of a true soul connection, the raw physicality of sensual pleasure is not the ultimate measure of soul mates.
Lou’s newest book on soul mates, love and relationships can be found at Amazon.
Most people think that New Year’s Day is the one and only time of the year to make goals and resolutions. Nothing could be further from the truth as we move into April; especially April Fool’s Day when the energy is flowing highest.
This is the time of year when the sun comes back warming our hearts and souls. We notice that we feel better and have more ambition after the long dark and boring winter months. We can see it and feel it everywhere from flowers pushing up threw the soil, to trees budding and people falling in love.
Now is the time, when the earth’s energy is forcing change and growth to really think about your relationship. Taking advantage of Spring fever and the joy that infatuation brings is a sure fire way to give your relationship a boost.
April Fool’s Day can be so much fun because we pay attention to others by playing pranks and silly jokes on them. It is a way to let them know we care enough to plan that practical joke and starts us laughing at the absurdness of it. Joking with someone reconnects us through laughter.
Think about the last disagreement you had with your loved one and the silence that may have followed. Next, imagine that crack in the ice of the first smile toward you and the hope of reconnection. That smile is what gets you on the road to getting back on track and is the little boost that was needed to make your relationship feel safe again.
Only you know what it takes to make your partner smile. You are the only one who knows what brings joy to your partner. All relationships need these little things once in a while to brighten up the dullness of life. Using April Fool’s Day to put that spark back into your love life could well set the stage for the rest of the year. You never know where a little spring fever will take you.
So, use April Fool’s Day as a way to get back on track by using your creative energy on some fun things you think up to let your loved know that you spent time on the relationship by planning to have a little fun. This will re-energize the love in your relationship that may have been lacking over these past few months. It may well light that fire and bring back the infatuation you felt in the beginning of your togetherness.
One thing is for sure, most people in the US have a good sense of humor, so, it is no wonder that April Fool’s Day is so popular. Around the country people will be playing jokes and doing pranks in the office and at home.
This day can bring out the fun and break the monotony of what would otherwise be just an ordinary day. It gives us an excuse to give the relationships we love a dose of attention that hopefully, they will enjoy. Joking with other people is a way of letting them know we really care.
Most Western cultures celebrate this day in a round of fun and pranks on their loved ones and co-workers. It has also been called All Fool’s Day and has been generally associated with the return of Spring while other cultures celebrated the birth of a new calendar.
Some of the ancient cultures such as the Romans and Hindus celebrated April 1 as their New Year’s Day and the return of the growing season. However, March 25 has also been a celebrated day as the Feast of Annunciation which was the beginning of their New Year.
In 1852, the Pope ordered the institution of the Gregorian Calendar which replaced the Julian Calendar and was to begin on Jan. 1 of that year, however, most of the general population was either not informed of the new Calendar or just ignored it and went on celebrating their new year on April 1.
Another explanation was during the reign of Constantine, a group of court Jesters with Kugel as their head Jester, told Constantine that they could do a better job of running the place. Amused Constantine let them do it for just one day and the Jesters decided that it would be a day of absurdity with Kugel as King for a day. This became a celebrated annual event from that time forward.
So, whether you are from Constantine’s court or ancient Rome, it appears that human’s have a need for fun in their lives and hope for the future with light-hearted laughs on this particular day. April Fool’s Day lightens hearts and gives reason to our human need for a little fun in our love and relationships.
Olivia Rostigus
Yes, spring is here and with it love is in the air. All the winter energies have gone into hybernation and opened the way for renewal, growth and most of all, love. This can be one of the most highly, emotionally charged times of our lives. However, it may or may not lead to true love.
This type of energy gives us the added boost we often associate with spring fever after a long, hard and dark winter period. Flowers bloom, trees bud and so does the chemistry that puts us in the mood to find a soul mate and hopefully a long term love relationship. It is also a time to be on guard that you don’t move too fast at this time of year.
Spring fever is nature’s way of stimulating the season of getting together in couples which is what makes spring breaks so popular these days. Spring flings are happening everywhere and right along with it, lots of broken hearts. While it is a meet and greet kind of time, things can happen rather quickly especially around April Fool’s Day when the energy is strong.
Infatuation is triggered like lightening bolts which cannot be stopped. The spring fling may not end up in long term romance, however, it is electrifying when it happens. Enjoying the moments you have when you feel the connection to another person can make us feel so high we may even lose our appetite – until it fades – and fade it may.
It is important to realize that while this type of infatuation energy may not last, it is definitely worth the effort if not taken too seriously. That emotional charge we get when hit by spring fever is exhilarating but care needs to be taken that is not be mistaken for love. While a spring fling can turn into love, it must be declared what it is. Time is what will determine if the relationship goes beyond these first few weeks.
Lots of women tend to think this is love and mistakenly so. While it can turn into love, infatuation is not love itself. While the chemistry is strong and you feel like you have met your soul mate, have fun, but try not to get so deeply emotionally involved in this type of relationship that if it ends you fall apart and go off the deep end.
Spring is time to have fun, and put yourself out there. Just take it slow with new love relationships and let nature tell you whether or not it is to bloom into a full blown romantic relationship. Time is your friend here.
PsychicCosmos © 2009
Most people are aware of how a controller works and choose not to associate with them. If you are a woman in a relationship like this, there are some very important things to be aware of. Below is a list of some behaviors of the abusive control freak.
While this is not a complete list, it has the basics.
When you first meet, they usually have their best foot forward, however, if you look hard enough you will see it. They begin to judge what you spend your money on and how much you paid for it. Your decisions, like buying a new car, are totally under his scrutiny and he will not like your choices.
In fact, he won’t like your choices about much of anything. This can range from where you would like to go to dinner from how much and on what you spent the grocery money on. He may find fault with most everything you do and you do not have “a right” to be yourself; he is in charge.
This usually gets to the point where everything you do and say must have the control freak’s approval, even if it IS your money. He rarely shares his and always wants you to spend yours – on him so that he doesn’t have to.
A control freak is almost always verbally abusive. He criticizes what you say and how you say it and to whom. If you feel like you don’t know who you are anymore and cannot be yourself, it is time to think very hard about dissolving this relationship. All the red flags were there, you just chose not to see them.
The most important thing you can do for yourself once you know you are in a relationship with a control freak is to plan very carefully your next move – which should be out and fast. Do not hope that he will change for the better and he’s just having a bad month or months. You need to realize that he doesn’t have the ability to love; this is strictly a deep insecurity in him that is being taken out on you. Now is the time to leave.