So, what is up with men that seem hot one minute then cold the next?  When you first began dating you just felt such a connection and was sure he did, too!  Then suddenly, he’s not calling as much.  What happened?

This can be very confusing and emotionally upsetting to women when this occurs.  Everything seemed like you had found your soul mate and then he stopped calling as much.  In fact he didn’t call at all for a while.  What do you do next?

This is actually the first sign of trouble on the horizon for you.  You wonder if you really knew him at all.  You seemed to have so much in common and then it all stopped.  You think it must be all your fault.

The first thing women do is think that they did something wrong.  Was it something they said?  Was it something they did or did not do?  This is when women need to really do a re-assessment and get a hard dose of reality.

So, what should be done?  Nothing – absolutely, nothing should be the reaction.  But that is not what usually happens.  Instead, the woman starts doing all of the initiating to keep the ‘relationship’ alive.  They text, call and email hoping for a reasonable explanation of what went wrong.

Women are not aware of how to keep a man’s attention.  You need to play hard to get and keep it that way until you catch his interest again.  Women who play too easy to get and wait by the phone are easy targets for men.  They are well aware of this.  Catching their attention is very easy to do; however, it may not be emotionally easy for you to do at first.

What should happen here is to take a giant step back and stop initiating anything at all.  Here are some tips that can be explored to get his attention back on you.

  • When he stops calling, texting or emailing, do not keep contacting him

  • Men hate to be ignored – so, ignore him

  • Next time he contacts you, wait two or three days before responding

  • Never answer any type of contact on the weekends

  • Do not contact him or answer your phone in the evenings

The reason for these tips is that you are doing all of the wondering about lack of interest in you.  You need to take charge by ignoring him and not responding right away to any type of contact.  This switches the power and puts you in the driver’s seat.  He will start to wonder what YOU are doing rather than the other way around.

When he goes cold, get colder and keep it that way for a while.  Make him earn the right to be in your life.  Women who play very hard to get have the best chance of keeping the relationship on the right track because men love the ‘hunt’.  They are hard-wired to work hard for things they really want.

Giving men everything right away is a sure-fire way of ensuring things will get cold.  Make him work harder to be in your life.  If he doesn’t, then he is not for you.  Let him go and fast after giving it your best shot.  Then get out there and try again.  Always remember:  if you spill a gallon of milk, wipe it up and go get another one.

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  1. cutiepie says:

    Thank you for the good writeup on when men go hot then cold. Most of us have had that happen and really don’t know if it is something that we have caused. I guess we do need to quit blaming ourselves for a boyfriend or husband’s actions or reactions. I guess psychics must run into this quite a bit! Good post and hope to read more about this sort of thing. CP

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