I’ve heard this over and over. He or she just has a ‘friend’ –  with benefits. Really? It seems to work for a while until usually the woman starts getting feelings and wants more than just sexual action in the relationship. She starts feeling used because he is just coming over for sex, but, that is what she told him when it all innocently started.  That is not how it usually ends.

Well, wasn’t that the intention in the first place? She says that she has an appetite for sex until that is all that he wants. She usually gets what she signed up for; someone to fool around with once in a while.  A love relationship on these terms often is only on his terms.  That is where some of the trouble begins.

Signs of Trouble:

  • He just shows up occasionally for sex
  • He rarely if ever takes you out
  • Gifts are rare if any at all
  • He never talks about the future with YOU
  • He’s not really interested in who you are or what you like

This ‘love relationship‘ begins to waver because she wants to get more out of it than just jumping into to bed whenever he has the time. And that, my friend, should be a red flag. But this isn’t where it ends.  She hopes he’ll learn to love her; after all, they have such a great ‘connection’.  It turns out that the only connection they have at all is between the sheets.

It ends when she:

1. Wants him to take her for dinner

2. Wants to meet his friends

3. Wants a ring on her finger

4. Wants to meet his family

Why? Because once she climbed in bed with him, the sexual bond wasn’t enough. What she really wanted was a relationship but was afraid to go after someone who was really available.  Her real intentions were hiding behind hoping he’d fall in love with her.  That is usually pure fantasy.

The terms of this relationship were set in stone from the beginning. This rarely works into an actual relationship. Women need to really think about what it is they want. If they want to get used, that’s fine. But it doesn’t usually turn out that way. They end up wanting someone who they have an emotional bond with; someone to build a future with.

The next time you hear someone saying they just have a friend with benefits, just know that it won’t work out very long. What she really wanted was a true connection with potential for a lasting, loving partner that she could count on to be there in her future. Be careful what you wish for, because friends with benefits usually end up leaving when you put the big questions to them about any type of commitment.

Be truthful from the beginning because you never know how you will feel about it in a few months. If it is really just sex you are after, go for it. Most people end up wanting more than that.

Related Articles:

When Men Go Hot Then Cold – Tips To Fix It

Curing The Summertime Blues

Dream Weaving Is An Emotional Magnet For Romance

Tags: , ,

Post a Comment: